Trapped in the Drive Thru Part 2

Trapped in the Drive-Thru Part 1

Now that R. Kelly has come out of the closet *although we have yet to be successful at coaxing Tom Cruise and his black magic to come out* I'm sure some of you are wondering what next? Well, we go to the drive-thru w/ Weird Al. From the brilliant mind of man that brought you "Eat It", "I'm Fat" and "Amish Paradise", I proudly present Weird Al Yankovic's "Trapped In the Drive-Thru".

Sorry if that wasn't a very clever introduction or transition. I'm running on fumes. Need to refuel! Gotta get that Combo # 4 with extra cheese with a quickness! Enjoy!



. . . to be continued

Harry Potter and His Magic Wang - I mean Wand

My name is Jeanne and I am a Pothead. Not the Half-baked, Samson/Mr. Nice Guy, maui-wowie kine, but I'm addicted to Harry, Hermoine and Ron. A former co-worker of mine introduced me to the J.K. Rowling series in 2001 and I've been a fan ever since. I've read all the books, have four of them on audio, have seen all of the movies and I was one of the bammas in line at the Uptown theater on opening night. For the record, since I realize how this disclosure may ruin my street cred, I was not dressed in gold and burgundy unlike some other shameful adults at the movie theater *some claim it is no coincidence that the Foreskins and Gryffindor fly the same colors and conspire that Rowling is a devoted Redskins fan - or NOT*

Sadly, like Saved by the Bell, Growing Pains and all the Police Academy movies, all good things must come to an end. So, with the release of the seventh and final book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in July 2007, we must part ways with the magical crew that's enchanted us for nearly a decade. I guess Daniel Radcliffe, who has brought Harry to life on screen, paid attention in his Divinity class and wanted to avoid the grim experiences of many other child stars, for he's already made a bold move to assure him continued acting success or publicity, at least. He's taking off the eyeglasses and Hogwarts robe to take on a role as a troubled stable boy in the play, Equus. In fact, he's taking it all off.

Equus delves into the psyche of a boy who blinds six horses with a metal spike and sounds like a riveting play. In fact, it caused quite a sensation when it was first staged in 1977. Apparently, Harry - er Daniel Radcliffe will be on stage totally nude for 10 minutes and will perform a scene where he's riding a horse, butterball nekkid as the day he was born, simulating riding a HO. Needless to say, this has parents in an uproar. Not his parents, even though he's only 17, but parents of children who grew up reading about and watching the brave Harry Potter outwit and outduel Draco Malfoy, Voldemort and other dark wizards. I must say, it was hard for me when I first saw the promo pics for Equus, which feature a bare-chested Radcliffe, about to get it on with a horse. In fact, I'm still waiting for PETA and other tree-hugging groups to boycot the play on grounds that this is animal abuse and spewing how this displays inhumane treatment of a whorse. Waaaaah. I guess what I'm trying to say here is, leave the boy alone! Let him live his life and be glad he didn't sign on to star in the Harry Poontang series.

We're Going STREAAAAAAAKING!

Ron Burgundy he is not! In fact, this news guy is an FDA-approved d0uchebag! Which is probably why he's doing news in . . . Cleveland! Home of the Indians, Browns and Mark Price. Speaking of white ball handlers, I love how nudists and streakers are all uber pale, hairy and jello-jiggly. More power to all of them, they make the world a happier, healthier place. Although, I don't think nekkidness should be embraced EVERYWHERE (i.e., nude gym in Amsterdam). There are some things that need not be seen - like a 65 year old naked man, riding a stationary bike. EWWWW!

You Boys Like Mexico??

Gag me with a tamale! ABC's favorite border bunny, who currently resides on Wisteria Lane, was seen this side of the Rio Grande wearing the big chunky heels with the tapered leg jeans that are far too longoria for her!

She reminds me of all the women that shop at the Giant supermarket on Park Street, where they sell iconic candles. You know, the 38 year old women who go grocery shopping in their wedding gowns and chunky white heels.

New Year, New Blog!

Gong Hi Fatzoi! Sae Hae Bok Mani Badu Sae Yo! Happy Chinese New Year!

Sunday, February 18, marked the beginning of the Year of the Pig *oink* =) According to the cycle of elements, it is the year of the Fire Pig and digging even deeper into the mambo sauce and Chinese folklore, it is the year of the Golden Pig, which occurs once every 600 years and brings prosperity for those fortunate enough to be born in that year [slight narrative detour: to bring home some bacon, here's a a good get-rich-not-so-quick scheme (audience boos) pork your lover like Bridget Moynahan, make a little baby destined to be rich who will grow up and take care of you in your old, decrepit state or pay a hot nurse or murse to change your Depends and pour you prune juice, but before that happens, sue the baby daddy and take his hard-earned money to fund your Louis-Vuitton diaper bag, carefree lifestyle complete with your very own nanny, Hercedes Benz, new boobs and lipo for post-pregnancy body. No one wants to go the Anna Nicole Smith route with the yucky octogenarian and his cabinet full of Cialis. 401 K plans are for losers!].

*whew what a digression* The year of the Golden Pig! Bad year for Muslims and Heebs, I would suspect and a very confusing time for Chinese Muslims *there are approximately 20 million of these bammas*. (Side Story - speaking of Muslims and cute little pigs, read about the Piglet Jihad http://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml?xml=/opinion/2005/10/04/do0402.xml&sSheet=/portal/2005/10/04/ixportal.html) . Sooo, in case you haven't already, let the dogs out, eat an orange, dduk kook, rice cakes, black eyed peas *whatever your culture calls for* and make sure your home is clean! I figured I'd start the new year off with my very own blog! Actually, I've been contemplating starting a blog for a month since I always have something to say and I'm in love with a blogger. *insert shameless plug* http://esdott.blogspot.com/

They say that the first person you meet and the first words heard are significant as to what your fortunes would be for the entire year. It's also a lucky sign to see or hear songbirds or red-colored birds or swallows. *I say that if the first person you meet happens to swallow, you can truly consider yourself LUCKY indeed . . . and pretty much bet the sweatshop that it's gonna be a great year for you!* I kicked off the Year of the Dog (2006) meeting and dancing to Lil' Wayne's "Fireman" with the aforementioned blogger *another shameless plug* http://esdott.blogspot.com/. This year, I saw a cardinal doing the funky chicken in Colonial Beach. WAIT! Aren't they red??? SWEET!

Thanks to Google, I was able to get some info on the Year of the Pig. This could be the year you strike oil when you're out installing that $39.99 sprinkler system in your yard, or just as probable, win the lotto *powerball jackpot is $78M with a drawing this Saturday* if you were born in: 1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995. If you were born in 1995 and are reading this blog, make sure you have a parent or guardian's permission before you continue reading my posts!