The Big Piece of Chicken

Chris Rock Bigger and Blacker: “Everybody takes Daddy for granted. Just listen to the radio. Everything's 'Mama’. ‘Dear Mama’, ‘Always Loved My Mama.' What's the Daddy song? ‘Papa was a Rollin' Stone’. Nobody appreciates Daddy. Now, Mama's got the roughest job, but at least people appreciate Mama. Every time Mama do something right, Mama gets a compliment...'cause women need to hear compliments all the time. Women need food, water, and compliments. And an occasional pair of shoes. Women got to hear it all the time, or they lose their minds. And Daddy gets to make sure you thank your Mama for everything. 'Tell your Mama how good the food is.’ ‘Tell your Mama how nice the house looks.’ 'Tell your Mama how nice her hair looks.’ 'Did you tell your Mama?’ That's right! 'Tell your Mama.' Nobody ever tells Daddy shit. l'm talking about the real daddies that handle their fucking business. Nobody ever says, 'Hey, Daddy, thanks for knocking out this rent.' 'Hey, Daddy, l sure love this hot water.' 'Hey, Daddy, this is easy to read with all this light.' Nobody gives a fuck about Daddy. Think about everything that the real daddy does. Make your world a better, safer place.”

I think that bit about daddy is my favorite part of Chris Rock’s “Bigger and Blacker” standup routine. It’s so funny because there is so much truth to it. I didn’t really notice everything that my dad did for me until I had to get my first oil change. I had put 10,000 miles on the wangmobile before someone told me I might need to get my oil changed. I didn’t know!

My dad always took care of stuff like that. He used to fill my car up with gas every morning before school, clean my car and spritz my tires with Armor All so I could be ridin’ clean. He’d also stop by the bakery after his morning round of golf so he could bring home fresh cinnamon raisin bread and Spanish rolls right out of the oven. My boyfriend, Sean, says that explains a lot . . . hehe. And although I’d hate to admit it, I know he’s right.

This post started off as my list of top TV dads, and the more I thought about the dads I grew up watching, I realized that my dad will always be #1 in my Neilsen rating. So dad, tonight, you get the big piece of chicken! To my 3 readers, I apologize for this sappy, Stuart Smalley moment – I realize this makes the mercury rise on your barf-o-meter.

In honor of Father’s Day, here are my favorite TV Dads:
Jason Seaver – Growing Pains
Nick Russo – Blossom
The Two Dads – My Two Dads
Fred Sanford – Sanford and Son
Homer Simpson – The Simpsons
President Jed Bartlett – The West Wing
Frank Costanza – Seinfeld
Dan Conner - Roseanne
Al Bundy – Married with Children
The dad from Silver Spooon
Henry - Punky Brewster
Phil Drummond - Diff'rent Strokes and of course,
PAPA SMURF!!

“Goodbye fried rice. Hello fried chicken . . . I love you dad!”