Have A Rice Day!

Have A Rice Day!

Friday, April 27, 2007

Cold Cases - Unsolved Hip Hop Crimes

While you all dig for evidence and unearth secrets that might lead to the killers of B.I.G. and 2Pac, I'm busy contemplating these unsolved hip hop crimes (insert music from law and order). . . Speaking of Hibbidy Hop crimes - peep dude in the pic up top. H0m0 thug. Big shout out to Cam'ron who is everything against snitching - I mean, why should he be in favor of snitching? Someone just may snitch on how he was getting call his pinky pink wearing a$$ out of the closet.

Courtesy of the Onion

Now that a suspect has finally been named in the 2002 killing of Jam Master Jay, police have turned their attention to other unsolved hip-hop crimes. Here are some that are currently under investigation.

Theft of Ludacris' Jet Ski in 2004

The death of Big Pun, caused by unknown fast food chain or chains

Notorious incident at Diddy's 2004 White Party when an unidentified vandal purposely brought extra-saucy ribs that completely ruined the ivory tableau

Unsolved disappearance of the third Fugee


Two hundred million dollars that fell out of Jay-Z's pocket during a Nets game is, at press time, unreturned

Continued refusal of Kool Keith's estranged super-galactic lover to abide by the restraining order against her

Numerous members of the Chamillitary are AWOL and subject to court-martial

Two masked assailants shot Bushwick Bill on the operating table while he was being treated for an earlier shooting

The continual disappearance of 50 Cent's newspaper from the stoop of his $4.1 million Connecticut mansion

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